all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
you had me at cake vodka
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
