happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
