My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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