The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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