For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
