after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
