She is in my trunk
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
