We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
