i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
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