you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
