And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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