we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
