I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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