We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
