If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
