is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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