I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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