So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
