the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
