Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
