Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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