you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
