just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
