you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
