Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
