I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
