He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
