I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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