Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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