If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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