I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
