Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
