I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
