...so i touched it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
