So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
