My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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