Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
