i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
