last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
