Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
