Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
