I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
