Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think my moral compass just broke
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
