any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
