Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
