guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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