Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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