Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
