please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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