You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
