how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I am spending my child support on dildos
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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